If you’re a parent like me, chances are you know how difficult it is to run a household and also take care of your kids. Are you mentally, physically, and emotionally drained from your everyday duties? Do you feel helpless and find it difficult to get moving in the morning? Then, this blog post might be for you.
Our days are filled with so many to-do lists and running around. Phone calls to make, doctor appointments to set up, meals to figure out, cleaning to do. The list never ends. I find that it makes it so difficult for us to stick to our goals when all we are doing is constantly giving to everyone else and we frequently take the back burner.
This feeling of catching up is always there and many days I have felt like I haven’t even touched the surface of things I need to accomplish in days, weeks, and even months to come. How many of us set new goals and resolutions every January that end up overwhelming us in time? Goals that seem nearly impossible to reach. Most days it feels like it’s nearly impossible to stay afloat, and it’s times like these that I feel defeated.
I have stumbled many times throughout the years, trying to figure out how to make it work for my family and me. I promise you, it wasn’t always great or even easy. I failed many times and still continue to try to figure out how to survive this thing we call life. However, there are things that I have worked on that have helped me through these challenges with much more success. I want to share with you what I have learned that has helped me have a more productive and successful morning that sets the tone for the rest of my day.
While being a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom), or SAHD (Stay-At-Home-Dad) has its perks, it also has its downfalls and hardships with the number of responsibilities that comes with it. I am by no means complaining about my life. I am grateful and blessed that my husband works so hard and provides for our family financially so that I get to do what I do. Sometimes my days are hard, long, and lonely. I have given up my career to stay home and raise our daughter, be present in all that she needs, and be available to accomplish all things necessary to make our everyday lives as functional and productive as possible.
So, here is what I have done that works for me, and maybe it will help you find ways to tweak your mornings and help prepare for your daily marathons. Yes, it is a marathon every day to reach that finish line.
- Give Yourself Quality Time
Yep, I said it. You need to give yourself some quality time. It is ok to be a little selfish and give yourself time to pamper yourself. In whichever way fits your lifestyle. And when I say pamper, I don’t mean go to a spa and spend a ton of money getting massages, facials, nails did, etc. While all this is wonderful and of course something that would be great to have and do regularly, it may not always be financially feasible nor do we have the time to always indulge in these self-care habits. I am keeping it real my friends. If you can do this then absolutely go ahead and make those appointments. I will stand on the sidelines cheering you on, secretly wishing it was me. But not all of us can afford such luxuries in life all the time, nor is it necessary for self-care habits.
What I am trying to say, is do whatever it is that you need mentally, emotionally, and physically. Maybe it’s taking a hot shower every night, or drawing yourself a bath. Buy the body scrubs and shower gels. Get the extra fluffy luffas. Lather your head with the shampoo and conditioner. Give your hair some mask treatments. Exfoliate the skin, shave the legs and armpits and whatever else you desire, and breathe sister or brother. Treat yourself! Even when you’re so tired you can barely stand. I promise you it helps so much. It’s relaxing, comforting, and soothing.
When you’re done, give yourself a facial treatment. Buy or DIY vitamin-filled masks, clay masks, coffee facial exfoliators, etc. Whatever it is that works for you, do it. Lather your skin with lotion, because we all know that with all the running around we do, our skin tends to get dry. Especially, in the winter months and especially if you’re not drinking your daily recommended water intake. Dry your hair and make it pretty, or let it air dry. You do you!!
When you look good and feel good everything else will fall into place. You won’t feel so sluggish and rundown. You won’t look at yourself in the mirror and feel the need to run when you see a glimpse of yourself and scream at the person looking back at you. Because those bags under your eyes from those sleepless nights are so dark that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. Ever have those moments when you look at yourself and wonder, where did you go? You’re still there! I promise!
In some way, shape, or form, deep down, it’s still you! So let yourself come to the surface. Don’t hide away anymore. Don’t disappear! We all want to be seen! It’s human nature to desire to be seen by our loved ones so while you may have gone away for a little while, come back! We have missed you! We want you back! Give it your best shot! Do whatever it is that makes you feel good and pretty or handsome, for all you gentlemen out there! We deserve to be a little selfish and take care of ourselves. We have earned that right!
I used to take showers in the morning but found that it took way too much time away from my morning routine. Now, I take them at night and I love it. I feel less rushed and it also helps me sleep much better. When I wake up in the morning now, I get myself ready. I put on some makeup, do my hair, and put on some of my comfy clothes, which usually consist of leggings and comfortable warm oversized tops, especially during our cold winter months. I feel pretty and good about myself and am ready to tackle the world!
2. Put Away Electronics and Stay Off Social Media
Ok, so let’s be honest here. How many of you will pick up your phone and browse through social media right after your alarm goes off in the morning? Yep, I have done it too. Religiously, the first thing I would do when I woke up would be to browse my social media, and lose so much time doing it because I got sucked in. TikTok videos are addicting. Pinterest ideas are never-ending. Facebook, is sometimes too drama-filled, but sometimes captivating, and Instagram has too many pretty and appealing photos. It is such a terrible guilty pleasure and I don’t want to allow it to fill my mornings with any more contributions to my very possible cognitive declines. LOL!
I’ve noticed how draining and time-consuming it was to have social media be the first thing I invested my time in the morning. So, my friends, I challenge you to not race to your electronic devices to check your social media accounts, emails, finances, etc. Instead, spend that time taking care of yourself above anyone else and before anything else.
Avoid the snooze button and get out of bed as soon as your alarm goes off. No matter how hard and daunting this may be some days, just get up. Wash your face with cold water and get yourself dolled up as much or as little as you’d like. Take care of yourself first before anyone. Take that morning time with yourself in the quiet with your Cup of Joe or tea, and give yourself a minute to think about what is on your to-do list. Set your mind right! It’s a marathon and we need to prepare for it. So, it’s ok to take care of yourself first, above all else. Now, this might mean that you need to get up a little earlier, but I assure you, it will pay off. Waking up early allows for success and productivity.
What I also would like to recommend, is instead of looking at your social media accounts, emails, or anything else that will distract you, listen to a podcast while you’re getting ready, take this time for prayer, or listen to an audiobook. Anything that will help you prepare for your day, do it. Listen to anything motivational or do some meditation. Personally, I like to listen to Christian music or music that will pump me up. Can you hear Rocky’s “Eye of the Tiger” theme song? I also try my hardest to be consistent with reading my daily devotionals. Incorporate some sort of motivational practice or daily affirmations. Anything that fits your style, go for it.
3. Use a Daily Planner and/or Checklists
If you’re anything like me, you need a planner, lists, visuals, etc. Let’s be honest after having kids, Mommy Brain is a real thing. I forget stuff all the time and if I don’t use my calendar or make my lists, and look through my planner, I AM LOST. I forget what day is what. Who has what doctor’s appointment? What errand do I have to run? What I need on my next food shopping run. Oh, and I have an alarm for everything because time flies, and some days it flies faster than others. Do you remember when I said we’re running a marathon every day? Set those alarms on your phone! They are lifesavers!
If you’re someone who can do it all without any organizational tools then I would love to pick your brain. Ask you how in the world you do it, and can we be friends, please?? There is no way in this mad universe that I would be able to function, somewhat normally on a daily if I didn’t have any of these things at my fingertips. I have lists for everything. To-do lists, organizing lists, cleaning lists, calendars for appointments, calendars for my bills and budgeting lists, and so on.
Don’t be ashamed of admitting that you need all of these tools to survive every day. We have a million things going on in our brains, all day. We are not Superwomen or Supermen. We are not made of steel. We can break, we forget, and we find ways to fail as human beings every day and that’s ok because we’re human. We are not made perfect and we need help! So if a planner, calendar, alarm, and lists help you, have at it, my friend. Use apps, and make lists. Whatever suits your style and personality, go for it!
Look through your lists, calendars, planners, etc., and prepare for your day! Know what is coming up and be mentally prepared for it. Realistically, if I have time the night before, I will scan through all of these and make a mental note of what is to come the following day, and prepare as much as I can for the following morning. This also helps to create a daily or nightly ritual.
Did you know that some research states that it takes 21 days to form a habit? So, give it a try and set small goals first. Decide what will help you the most and make it a habit of doing it to help you get started. Is it resetting the kitchen the night before? Straightening up your living room? Putting the kids’ toys away? Getting an extra load of laundry done? There may be a trial and error period until you figure out what works best for you and your family. Nonetheless, give it a try. Don’t be afraid to fail or feel like you tried and accomplished nothing. If at first, you don’t succeed…you know the rest!
4. Prep and Reset the Night Before
Now listen, I am very aware of how exhausted we are at the end of our days. Nobody said marathons weren’t exhausting, or at least I don’t think so. I have found that prepping and resetting my house the night before is such a huge time saver. Even when I am the most tired, I wash the dishes in the kitchen sink. I straighten up my kitchen and put everything away. I prepare everyone’s lunches as much as I can so I am not doing it all in the morning. I set my coffee machine on automatic so it’s ready to go when we wake up. The smell of Vermont Country Blend first thing in the morning is a great incentive to get you out of your slumber.
I straighten up the living room and get another load of laundry done because when I wake up in the morning the last thing I want to do is walk into a messy kitchen and already feel the anxiety and stress of having to get it done. It will set the tone for how your day will be if you already feel this way first thing in the morning. You will feel overwhelmed and set your tasks back for the day making you feel like all you will be doing is catching up on your to-do list.
When it comes to breakfast for your kids, make big batches of pancakes or waffles ahead of time or buy them frozen. Whatever works for you and your family. Whatever they like to eat for breakfast, make it easy on yourself and let them prepare breakfast for themselves as soon as they’re old enough. Don’t carry so much of this burden on your shoulders. They can pour some cereal and milk into a bowl. They can heat the pancakes and waffles in the toaster. They can spread the butter or Nutella. They can pour themselves a glass of milk. Even if they accidentally pour it on your kitchen counter or table. It’s ok, it’s part of the learning process. Don’t freak out.
Allow them the room and time to start taking responsibility and ownership for taking care of themselves. I am not saying it should be a free for all, and they do whatever they want. We want so much to cater to our kids that we get so used to doing it all. We forget to give them a little credit and allow them some autonomy, supervised of course. They need to learn how to fend for themselves productively and healthily. Start delegating the responsibility needed for them to take care of themselves. Make it easier on yourself and them so that your mornings are a smooth transition for you and your kids before you send them to school in whichever form that may look like in your household.
If they pack a lunch for school, ask them to help you prepare their lunch boxes the night before. What snacks do they want? What drinks do they prefer? What would they like for lunch? Let them be part of the process so that it helps you in the long run, it takes a little bit of the load off. I would also recommend doing the same for your significant others if that’s what you do in your household. Don’t be afraid to delegate and ask for help.
It is also a great idea to help them prepare their clothing for the next day. Discuss the night before what they can wear and set it out all ready to go for their mornings. So there are no morning arguments of “Mommy I don’t know what to wear!” or “Mommy where are my gym clothes?” We all know what I am talking about! Soon enough, hopefully in 21 days or less, they will have created a habit of preparing for the next day. Remember your children learn by example!
Teamwork makes the dream work!
In this busy world of ours, it is so easy to forget to take a few moments to just take care of yourself. In whichever form it may be, we need to recharge our batteries because we are not Energizer Bunnies. We simply can’t keep going. We must rest, take the time to self-care, reset, and do our very best to not forget ourselves in the hustle and bustle.
I hope some of these steps that help me get through my mornings and set my days up for success, will help you prepare for your days.
Can I challenge you to remove the electronics from your morning routine for a week? After you have achieved this small goal, reflect on it and tell me how it changed your mindset in the morning. Did you notice anything change within yourself? If you have any other ideas or thoughts, feel free to share them in the comments below! We need to support one another and lift each other up! You’re not alone! I am here for you.
Stay tuned for my next blog post on How to Use Your Time Wisely and Purposefully.
This is a great post on your blog ! Thank you for the inspiration… I made a bunch of pancakes over the weekend.. some of my family members are gluten free, some aren’t, so I made both. I also used so sprinkles, gluten free chrushed Oreos, and even some left over cereal (not enough for a complete bowl) to spice up the pancakes. Froze them, and now we’re stocked for a while… made morning routine a bit easier. Also, cuts back on the grocery bill too! Thanks again !
Wow! What a great idea on sprucing up your pancakes with some leftover cereal and/or cookies, even sprinkles! That makes them so much fun, especially for the littles! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I really appreciate the feedback! Maybe I should do a post on fun pancakes! Thanks for the idea! Have a great day!